I have been doing yoga for almost 15 years now. Seems like a really long time. How am old enough to be doing anything that long? And I’ve been a yoga instructor for almost ten…
While this is the defiantly the longest season of teaching consistently and regularly- I have enjoyed the process of getting to where I am today.
It may seem a bit surprising, I think all yoga instructors, at some point, go through a bit of self doubt. Wondering why we do what we do. Imposter syndrome at its best, thinking there is someone better for the job. Even we fall prey to the perfect poses posted on social media- the long lean bodies and influencers that to seem to have it all down. Balance. Structure. Flexibility.
But after every single class I teach, I’m left knowing I’m where I should be. It is life giving for me and as long as it remains so, I will keep teaching.
When classes are full of self discovery, tears, smiles, hope, hugs – what more could I want for my attendees.
Last night, someone told me, after coming to class after a few months away, that getting back on her mat left her feeling a sense of “coming home.”
Yoga instructors get in ruts at time. There are only so many yoga asanas – Am I boring these people? Are my flows challenging enough? Too challenging? Do I need to come up with new ideas?? OR stick to the traditions and basics that have kept this practice alive for so many years?
Most yoga instructors (maybe not all) LOVE to make their playlists. For me, I love coming up with a theme or intention – weaving it into the songs and readings. Repetition to resonate.
My yoga mat has been my place to worship God, be honest with myself, cry many, many tears and not be afraid to be myself. Yoga has been with me through panic attacks and crippling anxiety. Divorce. Self- doubt. The death of my daughter. Yoga has helped me find freedom and strength.
There are still postures I’ve not mastered. There are postures that I feel like are not accessible for my body- some things that I’ll never be able to “get” and that is okay. I’m just going to keep practicing. Doing what I can do on my mat during that practice.
Yoga is for every body. It’s just as much pranayama (breath) work as it is asana (postures) work… Even though western culture has sort of made yoga into just another “workout” it is far from that.
Grateful yoga found me. For the journey I am on and where I will go next.
Namaste