Category: Uncategorized

Summer is unofficially here. It’s hot. Humid. Oppressive. I’m listening to my first audiobook ever- The Body Keeps the Score and reading more overall in 2021 than I did last year. While not any significant amount of ready, it’s MORE, and it was a desire of mine for this year: read more. During the crazy… Continue reading My darling daughter

So many exciting things are happening. Growth. Skill. Renewed delight. A pause, a reflection, a momentary spark of joy. I still think of our little girl daily. Wondering how we’d be growing as a family, how a one-year old would change our rising and meal times and travel plans. While I tried desperately to love… Continue reading Live and Move and Have Our Being

“Dear Baby in Heaven, I wish you could see me now. Things have changed. Life has changed. I have changed. And I couldn’t have imagined that I really would be okay. Losing you broke me. For so long, I was a crumpled heap of flesh, gasping for air, too suffocated by grief to pull myself… Continue reading Letter to my Baby in Heaven (copied)

Those April showers have spilled over into May, and it’s been raining here for about a week now. More rain in the forecast as well. Often I think of the day our Isabella was born, it was a gray day, overcast, I don’t really recall if it even rained or not, but the weather was… Continue reading Rainy days make me think of you

Today is Magnus’s 5th Birthday. He has been looking forward with much anticipation to turning FIVE! As we celebrate him, of course I think of Isabella. How she’d be ONE now and in the middle of the tissue paper and balloons and pulling up onto everything. Magnus has been most vocal and questioning about Isabella’s… Continue reading Friday the 13th, Baby.

One year. One year without our little girl. All of these “firsts” have been much harder than I anticipated, and Isabella’s birthday has been no different whatsoever. Christmas- was hard. But, Valentines Day, Easter..?? I never thought those would sneak up on me and pierce like they did. Buying Valentine treats for our kiddos, no… Continue reading Happy Birthday

I was able to share Isabella’s story today with Christus Trinity Mother Francis Hospital. I think I was more anxious leading up that moment than I thought I would be. I’ve talked about her life, death, diagnosis ALOT in the last eleven months. But parking the car, walking to the elevator, riding up to the… Continue reading Never alone

I’ve been told, recently, that God will never take anything from you required for life, required for your existence. It’s a hard concept for me to consider, much less grasp, because I love so big. So deep. I need my spouse, my kids, my parents, my dearest friend (fill in the blank) or I’ll just… Continue reading Crawling, walking, running

Yesterday I turned forty-one. Today, I renewed my blog subscription. My best friend since 10th grade gave me a new journal for my birthday, so, I know it’s what’s best for me- what’s best for all… Keep Writing. While it’s a long, sad and unbelievable story (like much of my life) my entire previous blog… Continue reading In My Bones